Maintaining a close emotional relationship with your girl will keep you connected. She needs to know that no matter what happens to her, Mum will always be there for her. So even if she chooses not to involve you in her decision-making process, it’s good she knows that whatever the outcome of her decisions, although she takes responsibilities for her actions, Mum will still be there for her, not to condemn her but to give her that support and shoulders to lean on.
Those very close to their teenagers will tell you that although teens seek independence from parents they still carry in them the fear of making terrible mistakes; this makes them subtly seek their parent’s safety and security. Being emotionally available for your teen gives her that confidence that ‘Mum’s got my back covered’.
Mothers often say that they find it very difficult to trust their teenage girls more because in their quest for independence they device ways of achieving what they want even if they have to tell lies to cover up some wrong doings. Most teenagers lie because they see it as an easier route in solving their peer pressure and influence which is very strong. As much as possible spend time to discuss often with your girl on the happenings around her life. That way your major concern will be her safety.
Be always available to listen, talk, explain issues such as drugs, sex, safety, and lots more. Most teenagers are informed but need to get properly educated by their parents.
You cannot control your teenage daughter but you can control and change the way you react and this will affect the way she acts and reacts. In other words, you can choose how you behave and respond, that way you in turn expect to see a better behaviour and response.
Stop telling your teenage girl how to solve her problems, instead discuss the problems and their possible solutions, and their impact on her life; that way she is able to take the best decision based on what she thinks the impact of it will be to her life. When she takes the wrong decision and sees the consequences, she is likely to make better decisions next time.
Set family rules; let them be rules that can be kept, rules that uphold the values of the family. Whenever those rules get broken, don’t be in a hurry to judge and condemn but carefully explain what those rule mean to the family as a whole.